Regaining my Womanhood

I talk about regaining my woman hood but what does that really mean. I haven't posted in a while as my life has gotten hectic. The reason I decided to call this blog regaining my woman hood is because I feel lost. I became someone's wife and mother in a matter of 18 or so months. I don't feel confident like I did before marriage and children. I have been depressed several times and only seek counseling once. I know that I can't blame anyone for the demise of my woman hood. It seems like I am suppose to be happy with the way my life is but I am not. I have not been happy for a long time. It took me a while to want to write this post. Let alone share it with the world. I LOVE my Children. I tolerate my husband. (SAD RIGHT) But it is the truth. I have not been happy with my marriage since I found out I was pregnant the first time. I have a lot of issues with my husband and it has not gone away in over 2 years. I subject myself to a lot of abuse from him and ...

Today the hubs offered to take me shopping for an upcoming interview. What ever I want I could have gotten to wear for the interview. All I really wanted was a shirt. So we packed the kids up and traveled to the outdoor mall. Once at the store, OMGoodness, reality hit. I suddenly didn't feel as confident within my self. I picked up a very pretty shirt and I just knew that once I had on my slacks and heels I was going to look great. The size I use to be is not the size that I currently am. I have gained 2 extra sizes. I almost cried. So embarrass with my weight gain I was discouraged but didn't want to let the hubs know how I was feeling. He can be a downer sometimes. So I continued to look. I truly looked very hard and Couldn't find anything. So I was ready to leave and found a cowl neck shirt. I thought that with the slacks that would be great but it wasn't. I looked frumpy and hideous. Thank goodness for the staff at the store. They brought over some...

I polished my toes. That may not seem big to some of you but for me right now that is HUGE. Hot Pink. I feel some what confident and happy about my feet. Got to start somewhere right. LOL. I also did my nails. They are neutral but just filing and shaping my hands brought pride to my spirit. These are very small steps but it is going to help me work towards regaining my woman hood.

The past year was amazing and saddening. I gave birth to another little girl she is such the princess. The Diva does so good being around her sister I am amazed. I also graduated with my Masters and I can't believe how much I have grown with my internships. I am a better person for so much that has happened in my life and I love everything that I have right now. I am sadden because 09 started off rough. I made some decisions that affected my relationship with others. I hurt the ones I loved in the process but it has made me appreciative of what the Lord has set for me. I am sorry for any pain and discomfort that may have caused. Lastly I want to wish everyone a beautiful and blessed New Year. Hoping that Oh 10 will be so much better. Ciao.