What does it mean

I talk about regaining my woman hood but what does that really mean. I haven't posted in a while as my life has gotten hectic. The reason I decided to call this blog regaining my woman hood is because I feel lost. I became someone's wife and mother in a matter of 18 or so months. I don't feel confident like I did before marriage and children. I have been depressed several times and only seek counseling once. I know that I can't blame anyone for the demise of my woman hood. It seems like I am suppose to be happy with the way my life is but I am not. I have not been happy for a long time. It took me a while to want to write this post. Let alone share it with the world. I LOVE my Children. I tolerate my husband. (SAD RIGHT) But it is the truth. I have not been happy with my marriage since I found out I was pregnant the first time. I have a lot of issues with my husband and it has not gone away in over 2 years. I subject myself to a lot of abuse from him and for that I am very upset with my self. I say if I wasn't as strong of a woman I would be abused mentally. I had to realize that I am abused mentally. He has a way of saying things that hurt my feelings but I am suppose to over come them and take it with THICK SKIN. I can't deal with it anymore. I am ready to go. He doesn't help me and hasn't helped me in over 2 years. He doesn't know me. He says the right things but doesn't back it up. If I was dating him I know we wouldn't be together now. I try (I really try hard) to make things better but it is one sided. Most men don't know when their woman is unhappy. They don't have the perception to see that. Sad again I know but that is the truth. In NYC in order to get a divorce you have to living in separate addresses for over a year. I looked it up. That is SERIOUS. That is how I know that I am tired and need out. I even created a plan. But I will never share it because He may look and I would hate for him to have the foresight to see this post. Or my plan. I am not trying to depress any of my readers but I don want to share the meaning of my blog. I am trying to get back the me that I believe was SEXY, CONFIDENT AND FUN. I don't know what happen to my life, Hell I don't know what happen to my relationship. But I will work as hard as I can to regain the woman that I believe I once was. Thanks for reading. Peace and Huggies.


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