Many Frustations

Today the hubs offered to take me shopping for an upcoming interview. What ever I want I could have gotten to wear for the interview. All I really wanted was a shirt. So we packed the kids up and traveled to the outdoor mall. Once at the store, OMGoodness, reality hit. I suddenly didn't feel as confident within my self. I picked up a very pretty shirt and I just knew that once I had on my slacks and heels I was going to look great. The size I use to be is not the size that I currently am. I have gained 2 extra sizes. I almost cried. So embarrass with my weight gain I was discouraged but didn't want to let the hubs know how I was feeling. He can be a downer sometimes. So I continued to look. I truly looked very hard and Couldn't find anything. So I was ready to leave and found a cowl neck shirt. I thought that with the slacks that would be great but it wasn't. I looked frumpy and hideous. Thank goodness for the staff at the store. They brought over some options and that helped me. they also reminded me that I had a baby 16 weeks ago. I am not the same size and it is not realistic of me to look at my self with the old me eyes. When you have back to back pregnancies it is hard to see yourself without them. Regaining my woman hood today taught me something new about my self. I have been pregnant and/or breast feeding for almost 3 years of my life. Sometimes I forget that part. I have given my body to both children and still given it to them. I will never have the same body again and in order to regain the size I previously was it will take work. Work I have to dedicated to doing. I know that now. I have yet to resolve if I am going to do it but at least I am aware of it.